By Tom Bandy

The single most difficult group for churches of any variety to reach is Group O Singles and Starters. There are six segments included in the group:

O50 Full Steam Ahead                      Younger and middle-aged singles gravitating to second-tier cities

O51 Digital Savvy                            Young Singles who live digital-driven smaller city lifestyles

O52 Urban Ambition                        Generation Y singles and single-families established in mid-market cities

O53 Colleges and Cafes                   Youthful singles and recent college graduates living in college communities

O54 Influenced by Influencers        Young singles living in Midwest and Southern city centers

O55 Family Troopers                        Families and single-parent households living near military bases

This group represents 10.3% of the households in Maryland, but only 5.4% of UMC participating households. The average Index (based on 100 as equal representation between region and church) is 46.6. The average Penetration Rate (inclusion in UMC church) is 0.62 compared to the overall Penetration Rate of the Conference which is 1.0.

Experian describes them as digitally savvy foodies, politically disengaged, single adults. The MissionImpact Guide describes them as materialistic and ambitious, with fragile self-confidence, often frustrated and sometimes angry, active in social media, and who are religious sceptics but open to spirituality. Singles and Starters often have with organizational accountability (which is one reason many dream of starting their own business.) They tend to be independent, proud, and anxious to lead. On the other hand, they tend to be easily influenced, with low self-esteem, and ready to follow.

There are of course many varieties of people and important nuances among lifestyle segments. Some are retail clerks, and some are trade apprentices, and some are temporarily unemployed. Some are techies, some are fitness enthusiasts, and some are gourmets. Some are students, others are in military service.  Some are single parents, and some are cohabitating couples starting families. Many are all the above. Most are starting out in entry level jobs and often working several sideline “gigs” just to remain financially stable. Most have significant debt. Most are frustrated trying to reach their full potential.

Friends may be more important than family, but friends are highly mobile physically and relationally. They feel real urgency to sustain deep relationships, which is why they are so active in social media, and busy enjoying food, fitness, and sports. Music may play constantly in their minds, infuse their environments, and shape their core values and convictions. You might say that the combination of relationship and music (both in-person and online), are more significant in their quest for truth than dogmas, traditions, or books.

They use the internet as the chief source of entertainment, communication, socializing, shopping, and more. They rely on smartphones. Churches that reach them tend to be small, mobile, and adaptable. Church leaders must regularly contribute to blogs, forums, and chat rooms and constantly text, tweet, and maintain a running dialogue with members, adherents, friends of friends, and complete strangers.

Singles and Starters often say that they are too busy to become involved in an institutional church, but they are often just being polite. They tend to be ethical relativists, career pragmatists, and self-absorbed sceptics. Underneath the secularism, however, they may still have an interest in spirituality. Their personal religion may or may not be intentional. It may be a personal “playlist” of spiritual ideas and practices drawn from a variety of religions or cultures, or a bundle of paradoxical superstitions, experiences, or just plain luck. Religion is not particularly relevant now, and perhaps not in the foreseeable future, but they are open to surprise.

Churches with high membership expectations, bureaucratic procedures, and top-down authorities tend to turn them off; but church plants and new religious movements that rely on peer pressure and demand unquestioning obedience can also captivate their attention. They may not embrace a creed, but they will repeat a mantra. While rarely consider church participation, much less make it a habit. But there are three ways churches can impact their lives:

  1. Short term, hands-on outreach. They are so mobile, and so easily distracted, that long-term commitments are difficult. But they can be enormously generous with their time, energy, and talent for any project that makes a difference.
  • Long term, idealistic advocacy. They have often experienced abuse, injustice, and exclusion themselves, so they are extremely empathic for any minority or oppressed group of people. They suddenly show up in person and online to champion a good cause.
  • Mentoring relationships. They may shy away from programs, but they crave relationships that can help them explore the meaning and purpose of their lives. Mentoring can happen opportunistically in a pregnant moment, or intentionally over time and distance.

Singles and Starters may feel lost in the speed, flux, and blur of modern life. They are in transition in every way. They cannot predict where they will be in ten years regarding employment and relationship, and the same can be said of their ethics, attitudes, and religious sensibilities. Churches that reach them are very creative in their programming. They aggressively eliminate “sacred cows” (sacred properties, technologies, people, and programs), and are very clear about “sacred essentials” (sacred moments, sacred habits, and sacred relationships).

Singles and Starters are looking for heroic figures both in digital fantasy and in real life. Clearly this is a challenge for church institutions and traditional clergy today. Singles and Starters do not want their heroes to have “feet of clay”. They quickly detect hypocrisy. They can respond very positively to spiritual leaders with larger-than-life reputations: moral examples who lead movements (political, environmental, social, and economic) that change the world; or local and regional leaders who stake their lives in a good cause.

Spiritual leaders need to be sensitive to their hidden anxieties and eclectic spiritualties. Church leaders that connect with them are not the preachers, administrators, evangelists, or educators commonly associated with the institutional church. They are on spiritual journeys, comfortable with ambiguities, and open to new ideas. They cast bold visions for social transformation. They often have personal experience in other non-western cultures. Their greatest strength is an ability to model purposeful living, and mentor those seeking truth.

Leadership credibility is crucial. Leaders are allied with a great cause, respectful of all cultures and lifestyles, dedicated to spiritual disciplines, available to mentor fellow travelers through the ups and downs of life, and associated with “miracles” (unexpected and often unexplainable blessings). Spiritual leaders think of themselves more as “influencers” than “programmers”. They function more like gurus than pastors.

The story of Peter’s personal and professional transformation on the rooftop in Joppa (Acts 10), and in mission with Roman soldiers in Caesarea, helps focus the opportunity for mission among these lifestyle segments. There is a traumatic shift in Peter’s orientation. He is no longer an agent for ritual and conformity, but rather an apostle to the fringe. His cause is not the maintenance of a community, but the message of hope. He accepts strangers and even embraces his traditional Roman military enemies. He lives like Jesus. He associates with seekers, and personal and social transformations are associated with his presence.